Stolen Armor

Deck: Golden Jester

WHAT. A. MATCH, folks. What a match! This deck has some of the funnest battles imaginable!
The game started off perfectly: A Lightwell, a Deathlord, and a Mind Vision are a great hand to begin with. The warrior across from me, Valen, didn't play cards for a while. He just armored up. When I Thoughtstole some cards from him, I found a Shield Block, which indicated that he was a control warrior, heavily based on staying alive and building up tons of armor. I played two Lightwells as a barrier against him, and then played a Deathlord, hoping that it would be able to keep his minions at bay. At first he just equipped a weapon and played an Acolyte of Pain. I silenced it, hoping to make his card drawing as sparse as possible. Unfortunately, he had 8 armor... enough to Shield Slam the Deathlord into oblivion. Luckily, nothing too powerful came out, but it was an Armorsmith. I realized that I would need a lot of firepower to break through all that armor, so I took a gamble and went into Shadowform, trusting on my Lightwells to keep me healed.

Unfortunately, the acolyte (1), the armorsmith (+1=2) and his Fiery War Axe (+3=5) were enough to kill a Lightwell, but I hit the other one with a Mind Spike and Rampaged it, covering it with an Annoy-o-Bot. I then used a heavy axe and the well to kill the Armorsmith.

We kept sparring like this for some time, all the while the warrior gaining exorbitant amounts of armor. He played an Auctioneer, but it died after I Mind Spiked it and his Death's Bite exploded after killing my Lightwell. I was surprised how neck-and-neck we were.

Next, I played a Piloted Shredder and used a stolen Taskmaster to buff it. The Warrior executed the wounded mech, and out popped a Shielded Minibot. I felt like I was in good shape, but he had a horrible combo up his sleeve.

Out came a Raging Worgen. As I planned to kill it with my minibot and a Mind Spike, my jaw dropped as the buffs began to fall: A Charge, then an Inner Rage, then two Rampages! A terrifying 14/8 with Windfury smashed into me twice! Thank the gods for 2 armor I had left over from a Shield Block I had stolen, because I only had 28 life left! I was nearly dead, but luckily he ended his turn. In one fell swoop, I Mind Controlled his worgen! Since it had a Charge buff, I was able to slam it into him twice, shattering his armor and bringing him down to an injured 8 hit points (6 after my minibot hit him as well).

I held my breath as he played his final turn. I... actually can't remember what happened after that. I think he may have killed the Worgen with another Execute and then armored up and put down a taunt or something. I ended by casting both of my Holy Novas in order to cover myself in case he had a Mortal Strike, but that's when he yelled "I choose death!" and plunged his axe blade through his own heart.

The Impenetrable Barricade of Doom

Deck: Golden Jester

I was up against a heck of a paladin. I can't remember what he had in his early deck, but after a certain point (around mana level 7), he started layering on the powerful minions like crazy. I had two Lightwells out that did a great job healing me throughout the game, protected by Annoy-O-Bots and Deathlords. When the paladin sent out Ragnaros, I remained calm and waited for turn 10, when I could use Mind Control on it. Luckily, Rag didn't kill either of my Lightwells, so when he hit me with his fireballs, I was almost immediately healed.

He also played Stalagg, who I killed, and I stole Feugen from his deck with a Golden Thoughtsteal and kept it in my hand until Stalagg died. I Mind Controlled Ragnaros and copied it, but the paladin had plenty of healing spells of his own. A Lay On Hands brought him up to full, and a Guardian of Kings healed him as well. In an unexpected move, he used a Recombobulator to turn his Guardian of Kings into... Troggzor the Earthinator! Luckily, I didn't have any spells, but I did have plenty of powerful minions to take him down.

The paladin played Feugen, which was a good idea because my Ragnaros killed him and spawned Thaddeus. The paladin then doubled his health with Blessed Champion, so there was a 22/11 monstrosity barraging down on me. Luckily, a simple Annoy-o-Bot kept him at bay, and I ran my own Golden Feugen into Thaddeus to make my own: A glorious GOLDEN THADDEUS!

After that, my two Rags, 11/11 Thaddeus, two Lightwells to heal everyone, and a Deathlord to block made short work of the unfortunate Paladin. It must have been a veritable nightmare of a battle for him to get past that barricade.

This mage did NOT understand how Kel'thuzad's ability works.

Manipulating the Forces of Good and Evil

Deck: Jester

I have a hilarious new Naxx- and GvG-specced crazy deck, and it done killed me a Handlock! My first move was a Mind Vision that revealed a Twilight Drake, so I knew what I was up against. I put down two Annoy-O-Bots, and did a Mind Games that gave me a Molten Giant! He countered with a Mountain Giant, but it took him a long time to bash through two annoy-o-bots! In the meantime, I put down a Lightwell and did a Thoughtsteal, which got me a Golden Mal'ganis! I kept stalling, using my Black Knight to break through a Twilight Drake taunt barricade, and generally sparring with him. I also activated Shadow Form, because he still hadn't killed my Lightwell, which kept healing my units (I don't think he had gotten a hit out of me to this point).

Eventually, he pulled out Alextrasza and got me down to 15, but I didn't really care. I played Mal'Ganis! Unfortunately, he was immediately Soul Siphoned, but that didn't matter, because my second Mind Vision got another Mal'ganis! That meant that he was in the warlock's hand. I kept battling giants while he kept having to deal with my powerful reality-altering spells and minions.

I played another Mal'ganis, and he was forced to kill off all of his minions just to clear it. Then he played his own! Then I Mind Controlled his Mal'ganis! (Which wasn't gold, I might add, so looked lackluster in comparison to the ones I had played). The poor, poor fool drew a couple more cards, then conceded ignominiously. My cardful of tricks had bested him.

A Lucky Finish

Deck: Arggro the Paladin (Paladin Naxx rush deck)

I just got to Rank 14, which is a new high for me. And let me tell you about the awesome battle that got me there! I've been on a long kill streak with this awesome deck.

I don't remember much about the entire battle, but it was pretty neck and neck for the most part. He sent out Tirion at one point, who I managed to silence, and I didn't worry about throwing out tons of cards, because my Divine Favor kept giving me as many as he had. Eventually, he was down pretty far, and he buffed a Yeti to an 8/8 and copied it. I let out an Avenging Wrath, hoping that it would kill him somehow when he had 7 hits left, but it got him down to 2. I had enough hits left to take both of their hits, I just hoped that he wouldn't heal himself. But then he sent out Ragnaros and put a taunt on it! I hoped against hope that Rag would kill my haunted creeper, because all I had was 5 hits left.

He did! With glee, I finished him off with a Consecration that bypassed all of his minions! What glory!

Three Incredible Battles

I was on a roll this morning! I won four long games in a row with my Paladin, and got really close with a fifth but barely lost. These are the highlights of two of those battles, plus one extra by my secret hunter deck!

Deck: King's Champion (Magnificent Justice)

I was up against the oddest mage deck ever. My opponent, Kendel, had apparently assembled what appeared to be a sorry excuse for a Handmage deck! She had every card-drawing gnome and loot hoarder, two arcane intellects, two acolytes of pain, and two giants! Besides that, she had two of every ice spell in the game. We both exhausted our cards attacking each other. She would freeze me, then try her best to damage me. Once she froze my minions and sent out a Doomsayer, though I was prepared enough to kill him.

I almost felt bad for the mage. She sent Alextrasza to cut my health to 15, but I merely copied her with my Faceless Manipulator and killed the original, and a Lay on Hands and Holy Light brought me quickly back up to full life again. Eventually we both ran out of cards, and she had only a sad, silenced Acolyte of Pain on her side, whereas Tirion Fordring, a Stormwind Champion, and a Baby Paladin were on my side. In the face of fatigue and with nothing to show for the long battle, the poor mage conceded.

Deck: King's Champion

What a battle! The likes of this are not seen often, which is a shame. The priest I was up against, Ghostrip, had some tricks up his sleeve, but he was a whelp and not old enough to see the foolishness of some of his decisions. He sent out an Achenai Soulpriest, changing the light of his healing powers to shadow, but also sent out a lightwell! The lightwell damaged himself and even killed the soulpriest, while I just sat back and laughed.
But it wasn't that easy the entire time. Eventually, I found myself alone on the battlefield against Ragnaros, a Lightspawn, a Mogu'shawn Warden with taunt, and a (now functioning) Lightwell. Thinking quickly, I sent out Tirion Fordring, ready to Resurrect him if he died. The enemy priest silenced him, making his Ashbringer sword useless to me, but not wanting to have another erroneous target for Ragnaros's wild fireballs, he also buffed his Lightspawn and killed him. Surprise! I resurrected him, restoring not only the Ashbringer, but also his taunt and divine shield. Ragnaros hit me with the blast, luckily, and I took the chance to blast the battlefield with Avenging Wrath. Luckily, I was able to destroy the warden in the process, which allowed Tirion to finish off Ragnaros with his Divine Shield on!
The heat was still on. The priest killed Tirion again, this time allowing me to take up his Ashbringer. And what became of the buffed Lightspawn? My Spellbreaker turned him into a worthless 0/5, and my path to victory was clear. A knight and his squire rode into battle, followed by a Stormwind Champion to raise their morale. The priest was completely out of cards. He could only squirm as powerful slashes from the Ashbringer and my minions brought him quickly down to the dust of defeat!

Deck: Mes Excuses

My hunter was up against a wise and strong druid. My secrets had done little to buffer his attacks against me. Finally, it came to one final matchup. On my side was a Savannah Highmane, a Kobold Geomancer, and a Gadgetzan Auctioneer. I had run almost completely out of cards, so the auctioneer was there only for aggro. I was hoping to get spells in next turn to get more cards, but that didn't even matter. The druid only had 4 life left, and I knew he had wasted his heal earlier on a buffed Chillwind Yeti (one that I had silenced later). His only minion was Cairne Bloodhoof, whose measely 4 attack would not be able to finish me off.
The druid sat for a long time, contemplating his last move. "Only a heal will save you now," I taunted. "Unless somehow you have a..." DEATHWING. At last he played his move, and Deathwing swooped down, incinerating the board! To my horror, not only did all the minions die, but Cairne was replaced by his son Baine! A brilliant move! ...or was it? As my highmane died, two hyenas came in its place as well. I was saved by a deathrattle! One of the hyenas bit the druid before I eliminated him entirely with a steady shot. WELL PLAYED!

The Close Call with a Black Dragon

Deck: Ultimate Synergy

It was a one-sided battle. A shaman was fighting back against my colorful army quite pitifully. Because he didn't have enough cards, I soon found myself with six minions on the battlefield against his empty side. Feeling bored and unchallenged, I beat the shaman to a single health point, then toyed with him like a cat with its prey. Even if he pulled out a legendary minion, I had ways to silence and copy it to my will. There was something that was disconcerting, however... the shaman was not conceding to me. Though his life hung in the balance, he continued fighting for his life, groping at whatever cards he was able to summon. I brushed off the feeling, continuing to simply execute anything he would place before my formidable army.
In time, I powered up the Mind Games spell, and decided to see what few cards he had left. To my surprise and horror, Deathwing the Destroyer materialized before me! So that was the trick this shaman was hiding! He knew that I, a lowly priest, would have no way to defeat a black dragon if that dragon were to come and burn up all of my minions with his cataclysmic power! I had been a fool to toy with the shaman, and my hubris had nearly caused me a humiliating death. The shaman's secret thankfully revealed, I lopped his head off before he could do anything else.