Light and Shadow

Deck: Austinlock
It's always a crazy match when you use every card you have, and this was no exception. The game started off slow. I played a few cards, and was confused as to why this golden priest Adilio wasn't really reacting to my attacks. Eventually, though, he joined the fight.

The first crazy thing happened when he played Confessor Paletress... without playing his hero ability (he was only on Mana level 7). But I could when I Faceless Manipulated her! Mine summoned Sylvanus. He killed my Paletress and summoned Chillmaw. This was perfect for me! With my Dreadsteed's help, I was able to kill Chillmaw, and Sylvanus took his Paletress! By inspiring her, I was able to summon none other than Deathwing!

Unfortunately, he used Lightbomb, which killed basically everyone, and I was back to square one. But the fight was just beginning. Soon, he played Ysera. I was down on health because of my Lifetap ability, but Reno came in to save the day and bring me back to full health. It took several turns to kill Ysera, and in the meantime, for some stupid reason, he used Dream on Reno! That would prove to mess him up later. I still don't know why he did it.

The next crazy thing happened when Adilio played a Summoning Stone. A couple of good spells annoyed me, but I had board control and pressed on. Then, the unthinkable happened: He casted Mind Control on a Floating Watcher! This summoned Deathwing. Fortunately, I just happened to draw my Soul Siphon the next turn, and soon he and the Summoning Stone were gone.

Time was running out, and I was running out of cards. Soon, fatigue started hurting me as he played card after card. It was now or never, so I transformed into Lord Jaraxxus. I had to use my Blood Fury several times to remove minions, but luckily, Reno was able to come in for a second chance at making me "rich"! I bet the smag feels pretty dumb now! I was able to land board control at last, and my Infernals being summoned each turn were able to handle anything he threw at me—but that wasn't going to last forever; fatigue was quickly getting my health down!

My Death Pact healed me for 5 health, and I barely held on as I tried to finish him off. At last, he only had one card. I removed a 6/6 minion of his and hit him with everything I had... and realized I missed lethal! He only had 3 life left, and my infernal could have killed him instead of his minion. Oh wellWHAT?! RENO?! He played Reno, restoring himself up to full health! I could have had it all!

But wait. All he had besides Reno was a Dreadsteed he had stolen from me earlier. And my fatigue wasn't about to kill me yet. I removed Reno and hit him for 17 damage. All I needed was one more chance. What was my fatigue at now, in addition to his Dreadsteed's damage? He made his move and ended his turn. I had 7 life left. Would I live?

...Yes! The fatigue did 6 damage to me. I barely made it out alive. With glee, I unleashed my onslaught onto his face, pummeling his sorry golden butt into the slimy Naxxramus floor.

I shouldn't have won, but boy, did I. I guess that goes to show that being gold doesn't mean everything. Also, why would you be playing your gold character in constructed anyway? You're done! You have the wins for your gold portrait already, and all of the experience you need for gold cards. Whatever.

Austinlock wins again!

Some Highlights

This was the most unfair fight I've ever come up against. I know this is the most brilliant screenshot ever due to the Twisting Nether I had in my hand, but it just duplicated a Molten Giant and sealed my doom again. Echo of Medivh is super unfair if you can play two Molten Giants, copy them, and then play them all in one turn.

This was a glorious victory, and a very lucky one at that. A Golden Warlock faced me, and threw all kinds of golden junk at me—a golden Alextrasza, a golden Mekgineer Thermaplugg, and even a Golden Jaraxxus. I couldn't believe how much this sap had spent on Hearthstone. Somehow I stayed ahead, and even stole his Golden Jaraxxus.

Amazingly, the game finished with both of us facing each other as Jaraxxus. I attacked with Loatheb and my Sky Golem, as well as my own weapon, getting him down to 1. Knowing that he would kill me the next turn, I shrunk his Black Knight, which allowed me to Shadow Madness it and ram it into him for an insanely glorious Golden finish!

The Mill Frost Mage

Deck: Siege Onager

Whoof. What a match. I started fighting what appeared to be a Frost Mage. He froze my army constantly, and when I had an amazing lineup—Kel'thuzad, an Ironbark Protector, and a bunch of other high-mana minions... this is Siege Onager, let's remember—he froze them all and played a Doomsayer. Since I didn't have anything to silence it, not only did everything get burned up, he did Echo of Medivh to put another Doomsayer and an Antique Healbot into his hand again.

I managed to steal his Ice Block secret with my Kezan Mystic, which was reassuring. But then something weird started to happen. As if by magic, the mage suddenly turned into a Mill Mage. He pinged my acolyte of pain with defiance, and then played two Coldlight Oracles, and Echo of Medivhed one of them! I started to get worried, but even with all of my extra cards, I couldn't put them out fast enough to do damage. Besides, even when I got 16 damage off on him, he just played two more heal bots and froze my minions again. He even used Deathlords to absorb damage, which were perfect solutions since I didn't have any cards left. No matter what I did, he turned my attacks against him—Duplicating his healbots and doomsayers, healing over and over.

Finally, despite my Ice Block and healing of my own, he got my fatigue up to 6 and 7 damage per turn. He played his last Coldlight Oracle, and left himself open to die with confidence, because as soon as he ended my turn, 8 fatigue damage to the face killed me.

By far, the most skilled Ice Mage I have ever played against.

The Shadow Mage and Other Capers

Deck: Golden Jester

I've said it before, but this deck can make for some of the most insane matches you can possibly imagine. The game started off normal enough. A typical mech mage against me. But everything went utterly CRAZY when Lorewalker Cho popped out of a Piloted Shredder. Rather than kill him, the mage let him live. I decided, like I usually do when Cho appears, to just throw caution to the wind and let the cards fly. I casted Mind Vision three times—twice in my hand, and another time because I stole one in his hand. I ended up getting a repair bot and a polymorph, and something else I can't remember.
The next turn, the mage used 3 or 4 mind visions again... and I realized I had made an enormous mistake. In my hand was a Mind Control, a Shadow Word: Death, and a Shadowform, and he was taking all of them that he wanted. And then the madness began: He used Shadowform! I have never seen a shadowformed mage before, and it's pretty scary. Especially since he basically got a perfect upgrade for his fireblast. Luckily, that left me with two.
Eventually, I copied Lorewalker Cho just to cheese him off and start making him waste cards because his hand was full of Mind Visions. He killed both of them, and then we could properly begin our duel. I used Shadowform twice, finally getting to see what happened when the hero power was upgraded to 3 damage instead of 2. It gets a new icon and name! It's called Mind Shatter, and you can see in the screenshot what it looks like.
He realized what using it twice did, so he used it himself, and then everything went crazy. Neither of us could keep minions on the board. 3 damage is so much for only 2 mana.
Anyway, the battle went forward, and he slowly inched ahead. We both ended up using our mind controls (him on my Light Well, which was pretty stinking funny), and unfortunately, he had stolen 3 Shadow Word: Deaths just like I did. I hadn't been planning on him having so many, so I lost some good minions.
It was a heck of a long match. We finally ran out of cards. My last one was Sneed's Shredder, and when it died, out popped none other than Elite Tauren Chieftain! I had never seen him before, much less in normal, not-gold colors. He was pretty much worthless, unfortunately. Just a 5/5 on the board. But it was funny anyway.
The mage eventually pulled ahead and stayed ahead. All I had to defend myself was a Mind Control and two Shadow Word: Deaths, and none of his minions had higher than 4 health. In the end, I just wasted my Mind Control on the Nerubian that he popped out of his egg, and I only had 4 life left. He finished me by playing a mech and a Blastmage. Oh well! It gave me a ton of experience, so I can't complain. And boy, did that game keep me on my toes!

Stolen Armor

Deck: Golden Jester

WHAT. A. MATCH, folks. What a match! This deck has some of the funnest battles imaginable!
The game started off perfectly: A Lightwell, a Deathlord, and a Mind Vision are a great hand to begin with. The warrior across from me, Valen, didn't play cards for a while. He just armored up. When I Thoughtstole some cards from him, I found a Shield Block, which indicated that he was a control warrior, heavily based on staying alive and building up tons of armor. I played two Lightwells as a barrier against him, and then played a Deathlord, hoping that it would be able to keep his minions at bay. At first he just equipped a weapon and played an Acolyte of Pain. I silenced it, hoping to make his card drawing as sparse as possible. Unfortunately, he had 8 armor... enough to Shield Slam the Deathlord into oblivion. Luckily, nothing too powerful came out, but it was an Armorsmith. I realized that I would need a lot of firepower to break through all that armor, so I took a gamble and went into Shadowform, trusting on my Lightwells to keep me healed.

Unfortunately, the acolyte (1), the armorsmith (+1=2) and his Fiery War Axe (+3=5) were enough to kill a Lightwell, but I hit the other one with a Mind Spike and Rampaged it, covering it with an Annoy-o-Bot. I then used a heavy axe and the well to kill the Armorsmith.

We kept sparring like this for some time, all the while the warrior gaining exorbitant amounts of armor. He played an Auctioneer, but it died after I Mind Spiked it and his Death's Bite exploded after killing my Lightwell. I was surprised how neck-and-neck we were.

Next, I played a Piloted Shredder and used a stolen Taskmaster to buff it. The Warrior executed the wounded mech, and out popped a Shielded Minibot. I felt like I was in good shape, but he had a horrible combo up his sleeve.

Out came a Raging Worgen. As I planned to kill it with my minibot and a Mind Spike, my jaw dropped as the buffs began to fall: A Charge, then an Inner Rage, then two Rampages! A terrifying 14/8 with Windfury smashed into me twice! Thank the gods for 2 armor I had left over from a Shield Block I had stolen, because I only had 28 life left! I was nearly dead, but luckily he ended his turn. In one fell swoop, I Mind Controlled his worgen! Since it had a Charge buff, I was able to slam it into him twice, shattering his armor and bringing him down to an injured 8 hit points (6 after my minibot hit him as well).

I held my breath as he played his final turn. I... actually can't remember what happened after that. I think he may have killed the Worgen with another Execute and then armored up and put down a taunt or something. I ended by casting both of my Holy Novas in order to cover myself in case he had a Mortal Strike, but that's when he yelled "I choose death!" and plunged his axe blade through his own heart.

The Impenetrable Barricade of Doom

Deck: Golden Jester

I was up against a heck of a paladin. I can't remember what he had in his early deck, but after a certain point (around mana level 7), he started layering on the powerful minions like crazy. I had two Lightwells out that did a great job healing me throughout the game, protected by Annoy-O-Bots and Deathlords. When the paladin sent out Ragnaros, I remained calm and waited for turn 10, when I could use Mind Control on it. Luckily, Rag didn't kill either of my Lightwells, so when he hit me with his fireballs, I was almost immediately healed.

He also played Stalagg, who I killed, and I stole Feugen from his deck with a Golden Thoughtsteal and kept it in my hand until Stalagg died. I Mind Controlled Ragnaros and copied it, but the paladin had plenty of healing spells of his own. A Lay On Hands brought him up to full, and a Guardian of Kings healed him as well. In an unexpected move, he used a Recombobulator to turn his Guardian of Kings into... Troggzor the Earthinator! Luckily, I didn't have any spells, but I did have plenty of powerful minions to take him down.

The paladin played Feugen, which was a good idea because my Ragnaros killed him and spawned Thaddeus. The paladin then doubled his health with Blessed Champion, so there was a 22/11 monstrosity barraging down on me. Luckily, a simple Annoy-o-Bot kept him at bay, and I ran my own Golden Feugen into Thaddeus to make my own: A glorious GOLDEN THADDEUS!

After that, my two Rags, 11/11 Thaddeus, two Lightwells to heal everyone, and a Deathlord to block made short work of the unfortunate Paladin. It must have been a veritable nightmare of a battle for him to get past that barricade.

This mage did NOT understand how Kel'thuzad's ability works.